Los Angeles Community Association Management

"Why can't we all just get along?"
~ Rodney King

I find myself saying this all the time ... It's important when living or operating in a community association that neighborly respect and non-bias is given to each owner. Conflicts between neighbors are bound to arise, and the insecurity of conflict creates an emotional or rational decision. Let's call the emotional decision a reaction and the rational decision a reflection. By understanding reactive and rational behavior we can better manage our lives, and effectively manage problems/conflicts that arise in community associations.

In my opinion apprehension, a fear that something bad will happen, is the genesis of conflict. The first glimmer of apprehension brings forward a decision between rational or emotional behavior. So, how do "we all just get along" when conflict arises? By dropping apprehension/fear, and moving to rational, reflective authenticity.

The root of fear is Darwinian in nature and grounded in self-survival. Conflict arises, self preservation summits, and an emotional reaction ensues. The emotional reaction is a cold river of guilt, blame, inadequacy, rejection, and fear. In that river of emotion, self preservation is going to surface. Keep in mind that self preservation can be the death of you as you fight the current, tire yourself, and possibly drown. Be rational. Think about rivers ending in calm body's of water. Get to that calm body of water, catch your breath, and take a look at the reflection in the water.

The tumultuous river represents fear, anxiety and the drowning sensation of self preservation. The calm water's reflection represents a mirrored image of peaceful understanding of the problem. Do not drown in the river fighting currents. Use rational behavior or you may never make it to the calm body of water where all your problems are solved.

In my opinion people are subconsciously 90% emotional and 10% rational (that may be a stretch). The same ratio seems to subconsciously exist with people being 90% selfish, and 10% unselfish/altruistic. Don't let self preservation get in the way of altruism. The foundation of community is built on being conscious of mutual, unselfish respect. Focus on rational understanding and reflection, diminish apprehension, and the recipe for getting along seems to intervene.

Remember that people have a decision to make when conflict arises. If you get the emotional decision first, and the rational decision second - don't focus on the emotion. Recognize that the response was likely an emotional fear, and accept the altruistic decision that came later.